Tending Threads

At the gym this past weekend, we had fun reminiscing about recording songs from the radio to cassette tapes.

Kids today have information & entertainment at their fingertips; we sat by the radio for hours in the hopes of catching songs we loved. We’d record them onto cassette tape - BONUS if we could get the intro without the DJ talking!

Fun memories aside... you all doing okay??

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I’ve been learning a lot about the nervous system lately. 🌿

One thing that keeps landing for me is this: your nervous system is always assessing, right now. The current room. The current breath. The current level of safety in your body.

It’s not ignoring your past; your past absolutely shapes how it responds. But the entry point for changing those responses?

It’s here, right now… in the present moment.

Which means the dark room matters.

The long exhale matters.

The bare feet on the earth matters.

The sun on your face matters.

Not because they erase anything.
Because they give your nervous system new information {right now, in real time} that says: you are safe. You can soften. You don’t have to brace anymore.

That’s not a small thing.

That’s tending. We love to tend over here.

Let’s actually talk about the biology. 🌿

(Not the vague “hormones are changing” version.) The real one.

Perimenopause isn’t estrogen declining in a straight line. It’s a years-long recalibration involving estrogen, progesterone, FSH, and your nervous system all shifting unpredictably, sometimes within the same week.

Progesterone often drops first (sometimes years before estrogen does) which is why anxiety and insomnia are frequently the very first signs, long before a single hot flash.

Estrogen doesn’t just decline either. It fluctuates *surging and crashing* which is exactly why one week can feel manageable and the next can feel like a different body entirely.

This isn’t randomness. It’s not you “not handling it well.”

It’s biology. Real, explainable, complex biology.

Understanding it is the first step to tending yourself through it. 🌿

Save this one. You’ll want to reference it.

At 14, instead of "just don't have s*x" and a goodie bag with a pad, what if someone had handed us this:

"Once a month your body moves through four seasons. Some weeks you'll feel unstoppable. Some weeks you'll want to disappear. Both are correct. Plan accordingly."

We didn't get that. We got: smile through it, push through it, don't let anyone know.

(How many of you remember sneaking a pad to the bathroom like you were the only woman on earth dealing with it?)

So we spent decades fighting our own rhythms, forcing productivity in winter, wondering why we crashed in autumn, never once connecting the dots. We weren't lazy or inconsistent. We were cyclical beings living in a linear world, with zero information about why that felt so hard.

And even if we'd known? The system was never built to accommodate it. Jobs have always expected the same output, every single day, no matter what season our body was actually in.

This isn't about going back and fixing it. It's about naming it.

If you'd had this map at 14, what's the first thing that would've made sense?

Perimenopause = AUDACITY. 😂🌿

Let me explain.

Most of us know by now that estrogen declines as we age. What a lot of us don’t know is that estrogen is the hormone that makes us nice.

Estrogen is the caregiver hormone, our biological nudge to put everyone else first. To smooth things over. To keep the peace. To come last.

As estrogen declines, so does our give-a-damn.

Don’t panic, that’s not a bad thing. It doesn’t mean we stop caring about the people we love. It means we can no longer tolerate coming in last place. Our needs, our wants, our desires… they’ve been whispering for years.

Perimenopause makes them scream.

The question is: do we dare have the audacity to finally listen?

I attended an Emergence retreat on Saturday with the incredible & and kept coming up. The audacity to show up as exactly who you are. No performance. No apology. No holds barred.

In the Tending Threads world, that’s what filling your own cup first looks like. Tending your threads before anyone else’s, without guilt.

Not selfish.

Audacious. 🌿

There are a few ways we can tend this sacred transition together. 🌿

Whether you’re just finding your way here or you’re ready to go all the way in, there’s a place for you.

💫The Hearth is home. An online gathering place for women who are done pretending they’re fine. Come as you are.

💫 Roots, inside The Hearth, is your free starting point, with live workshops, a book club, sacred practices, and women who get it. Free. Always. No catch.

💫 One Thread is for the woman who knows exactly what’s been asking for her attention, and she is ready to give it four weeks of focused tending. One theme. Four calls. Just you and me.

Not sure where to start?

Start with Roots.

It’s free, it’s warm, and it’s exactly where you’re supposed to be right now. Everything else unfolds from there. 🌿

Link to get on the waiting list: https://tending-threads.kit.com/099a45312c